My Higher Power is John Stamos
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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