I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it's like heaven, but drunker
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
