okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
