She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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