Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
