Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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