there's paper in my vomit.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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