Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
