How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
