careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
