I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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