I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
