Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
