please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
