Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
