I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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