One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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