She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
