I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
