but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
