so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
