U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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