theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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