tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
