before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
