I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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