I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
