I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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