i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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