she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
