Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
