Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
