hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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