Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
