They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
