I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
