I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
