One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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