We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
