Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
