My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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