Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
