Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
