I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
