Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
