Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
