it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
