he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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