Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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