Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
