We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What happened to fro yo and sex?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
